Lately I have been feeling in the dumps. For no good reason. I guess I have reasons, but they are not very good. Anyway, I had a little wake up call on Sunday (like I usually do at church) and realized that God always has an answer, or at least something comforting for me. Reading the Ensign, I just felt like the articles were really meant for me, even though the topics were varied and not directly related to me. And can you believe the fireside last night was all about something I'd been thinking about? On Friday I was just bemoaning the lack of real friendships in my life right now. Of course I have my husband and my family, but every close friendship I've had with girlies in my life has kind of faded or bluntly ended. I have a million friendships with people that just don't seem to get past, "Hi, how are you?" Seriously, I am asked that question at least ten times a day at school, dance, choir, church, and work. And those people are all people I care about, but there isn't one of them that I could imagine just calling them up to chat. Am I missing my high school phone-talking days? haha. Maybe. I have not had any real girl talk in a while!!!
SO I didn't go to the fireside actually (I was watching the Oscars and Sandra Bullock and Cameron Diaz and Miley Cyrus dresses were some fav's), but when I opened up the Daily Universe, there was the recap for me. Plain as day. Friendship. It gave some insight and ideas. I especially liked that he talked about eliminating some of that virtual reality we depend on for friendship. Haha um the Oscars? and the bachelor and Tenley and Gia have been some of my really good friends this semester! Anyway, I was just reminded that the gospel is all about joy--it really gives you answers to even the most trivial of my concerns.
On a more exciting note, I am getting a hair cut today. It has been about 5 months. yikes. And tomorrow I get nails for the big ballroom comp. this weekend. I am still pretty nervous about it!
4 comments:
Jess,
I've totally been feeling the same way. I've really missed my true friendships. And I think it's a bug going around because a lot of women at my work are feeling the same way. There's something to be said about true fellowship, I think.
What I've had to do is just make a conscious effort to make time for my true friends. I meet with one of my oldest friends once a week for lunch and one of my newest, old friends twice a month. It seems so un-natural at first to have to plan something that came so naturally (like your high-school phone talky days), but once it gets started, the conversation just flows.
I hope that along with your findings in our precious gospel, you also find some encouragement in what I've said.
Many blessings on your journey!
Natalee,
It's really true--you do have to make a concerted effort! And make the time. Thanks for the idea and good luck to you too in your friend quests!
It's true it really does take so much more effort now. It is different once you are married, my mom and sisters seem to have filled the role that girlfriends once did. But I still make an effort to see my girl friends. Some of the younger married girls in my ward plan girls nights about once a month. We go to dinner or go bowling or something. It was kind of awkward at first because we didn't really know each other, but I'm glad I kept going, because now I feel closer to them and feel like I can call them if I need anything. And it's really nice to have someone you can call who's close by. Someone just has to take the initiative to plan it. Even double/group dating with couples you know gives you the opportunity to girl bond while the guys are talking. Don't worry it gets even tougher once you have kids :)
This same thing used to bug me so bad a few years ago! :) I think we all feel that way from time. The more I think about it the more I realize that friendships will always come and go. I have found that I have been friends with certain people at a certain time in my life because I really needed them and they fit perfectly into my lifestyle.
However, over the years I have changed. I've gotten married and had two beautiful kids (moving around from state to state didn't help much either!) while some of those old friends have gone a different direction. It feels like I have closed a lot of chapters in my life and I have had to let some of those formerly intense friendships fade. But the great thing about closing old chapters are the new chapters that will enter in their place. If you work at it, you will always have friends that suit you and your lifesstyle at the moment. And you will always have the memories of those friends who touched you life for a brief time.
And don't forget, you have a built-in best friend forever. Girlfriends come and go, but your husband always has your back. Hang in there. Thanks for sharing. I love blog entries that are so honest.
Post a Comment