Rose is a pretty big part of our lives-- I realize I haven't blogged about us very much. We have been in a transient stage for the last 5 months and I really didn't feel like talking about it. Raimo was looking for a job (starting last Februaryish) and was interviewing a bunch of different places. We couldn't seem to move on from our life in Provo after graduation. Raimo was really not happy in his work there for many reasons. We had a baby coming in July so we stuck out the summer (I said to him the other night that my memories of those 4 summer months in that apartment are some of the happiest I can think of, just before and just after Rose's birth. It was so wonderful.) Then we decided to do something crazy to get things going, and moved in with Raimo's parents until we figured out where we were going. 5 months later, we are still here. Raimo quit his job, studied his brains out for a month, rocked his insurance license test, and now he works for Guardian. The beginning has been stressful, yet it is working out great. Raimo is now working in something that has more meaning/is really important for people of all ages/has multiple facets. The more we learn, the more we realize how necessary and important it really is. He really likes his company--we can really count on the people there and on the company as a whole. And to top it off, he is meeting the obligations the company set for him so we are (finally) getting paid.
As for me, I cannot really summarize what I have done for 5 months (besides caring for our baby). It has varied from month to month. Showering/bathing baby/getting us ready each day is an accomplishment, but necessary or else I feel like I am just a stay-at-home-slob. I haven't had a lot of free time until recently, but I read a lot, I watched tv sometimes, I sometimes make dinner, I do a lot of laundry, clean the bathroom, try to keep up journals and blogging, pay all the bills and manage our accounts, buy groceries, dance... yes, we are crazy and have started practicing our routines again. It is good for both of us since we aren't getting much exercise. We go to the church or stake center on mutual nights and hope there is room for us. We paired up with Ryan and Ana Maria who also have a baby and we take the babes asleep in their car seats (after bed time). We are toying with the idea of competing, but I know it will be a totally different dynamic having a baby on the sidelines, not to mention we only practice an hour, maybe 2, per week. However, we enjoy it and if anything it makes us feel good. It is just hard to do it and not go into it 100% like before. One night I took some piano music and practiced--it felt amazing. I wish I had a piano at home because I know I would play a lot.
We have also been doing a lot more socially than we ever did during college. We just never seemed to have the time or the energy when we had so much going on, not to mention so little money before. It is wonderful for me--it is a little break to spend some time with adults! and to have friends to visit with. I have missed that a lot in the last year or two. Raimo is definitely my best friend--sometimes we joke we are each others only friend--and I am so glad to have him always. Every day I so look forward to him coming home.
My birthday came quickly, as it always does, after the holidays. It was a big one. I was excited that Ana Maria called and took me out! It was really nice of her and we had a fun time, and that night Raimo surprised me and took me to sushi at Tsunami, one of my favorites! I even got a dessert. It was so good. And it was a much-needed little break from my little one.
I think 25 sounds pretty old--not old as in wrinkle old, but old as in I am definitely in adult years, not young adult so much and getting farther and farther from high school. I guess it's not a phase of life that I dreamed about or thought much about (I was always looking forward to the early 20's, marriage, that fun stuff) but here I am a quarter of a century. And I'm very happy. I do love my life. I feel like I've had an amazing life so far. And... I feel kind of old. I imagine my siblings would think it is weird that their sister is 25. I am so grateful for the phase I'm in right now. I love being a mom, I love my baby so much, I still love being married... it is not feeling monotonous or boring to me, which I am so glad about. A little over a year ago, before we got pregnant, Raimo and I made some predictions about where we'd be in a year. We were a little off. But it is working out great. And I feel very positive about where we're headed--we have a lot of hard work to do and a lot of saving--things will probably never go the way we plan. Hopefully we will just continue to be blessed.
I did not feel in the mood for resolutions this year. The last couple of years I made some financial goals, then resolved to just have more joy in my life. And I liked that a lot. This year I feel like being easy on myself--in high school I would write up these really ambitious lists: practice piano more, get straight A's, be in a play, learn such and such language, read scriptures every day, learn the violin (that one was on it every year--someday I'll get there), be healthier, work out, etc. etc. It reminds me of an experience I had as a teenager: I bore my testimony and talked about how I had realized I could be/needed to be doing so much more spiritually and being so much more for the Lord. The woman who got up right after me bore her testimony about how she knew that she was doing enough, that she didn't need to beat herself up about not doing more. I remember for some reason it was really embarrassing to me that we had just made completely opposite points. Looking back we were both right because we were both in different phases of life and in different circumstances. Am I in the "I'm doing enough" phase?? I don't really want to be, but maybe I am... I think I just am a lot more tired with less sleep. The parenting phase is just different and I am living a little more day-to-day and a little less week to week or month to month. Though I still feel in my heart that I would like to write that itemized list of things to do better, I'm just not doing it. I think I just need to chill out--"find joy" as I wrote last year. Maybe in a few months I will feel like picking a few goals to work on. I feel like I have this big to-do list (scrapbook Rose's life thus far, journal more, take more photos, print the photos, de-clutter, clean more, take care of switching files from our old computer, find an apartment, keep in touch with so and so, write a letter to that friend, work, blah blah blah) and that list is just in the way of setting any lofty goals. I'll be lucky if I get around to the to-do's!
Wow. So that's it for now.
2 comments:
Hey Jessica! I liked reading your update about YOU! (I'm glad things seem to be working out with a new job for Raimo too.) I definitely relate to not being in the mood for resolutions -- I didn't make any goals for the year after Addison was born. When she hit 1, I was ready to make some goals, but even so I feel like I am in a "doing enough" phase for certain things, like you said. Like scripture study...when I was teaching RS/SS I used to spend at least an hour a day on my gospel study. Now if I do 15 mins uninterrupted, I am satisfied. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those marathon study sessions, but I think it's enough for this phase of my life. Anyway, I'm glad you are enjoying motherhood!
Something about being a mom and "sitting" at home all day makes you feel like you're never doing enough but you never have the energy to do more either...that's why the GAs always talk about how awesome women are in conference because sometimes it's hard to feel awesome when you're covered in baby puke and who knows what else.
Post a Comment