I wish I was here right now...

Can you guess where this is??

Life today

I need to post some pictures soon--we have a ton from dancesport.

I have a ton of things to do in the next two weeks. I don't feel like doing them right now. Like finishing biology. So I'm not.

I got major whiplash in my neck from dance--I woke up at 6 am this morning and couldn't move my neck for the pain!! I still can't move my head to the right at all--I've never gotten it this bad. It's really slowed down my day... so annoying.

I have my last choir concert this weekend. Last one of my life. I'm sooo sad. There may be other choirs, but there is nothing like a BYU choir. And there is nothing like BYU Singers. Rehearsal everyday is pretty amazing. If there is anything I will miss after graduation, it will be that particular dose of music every day.

I'm excited for summer and for having some time--just plain old time.

Cabaret

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiFf3c13glo

Lately I have been feeling in the dumps. For no good reason. I guess I have reasons, but they are not very good. Anyway, I had a little wake up call on Sunday (like I usually do at church) and realized that God always has an answer, or at least something comforting for me. Reading the Ensign, I just felt like the articles were really meant for me, even though the topics were varied and not directly related to me. And can you believe the fireside last night was all about something I'd been thinking about? On Friday I was just bemoaning the lack of real friendships in my life right now. Of course I have my husband and my family, but every close friendship I've had with girlies in my life has kind of faded or bluntly ended. I have a million friendships with people that just don't seem to get past, "Hi, how are you?" Seriously, I am asked that question at least ten times a day at school, dance, choir, church, and work. And those people are all people I care about, but there isn't one of them that I could imagine just calling them up to chat. Am I missing my high school phone-talking days? haha. Maybe. I have not had any real girl talk in a while!!!
SO I didn't go to the fireside actually (I was watching the Oscars and Sandra Bullock and Cameron Diaz and Miley Cyrus dresses were some fav's), but when I opened up the Daily Universe, there was the recap for me. Plain as day. Friendship. It gave some insight and ideas. I especially liked that he talked about eliminating some of that virtual reality we depend on for friendship. Haha um the Oscars? and the bachelor and Tenley and Gia have been some of my really good friends this semester! Anyway, I was just reminded that the gospel is all about joy--it really gives you answers to even the most trivial of my concerns.
On a more exciting note, I am getting a hair cut today. It has been about 5 months. yikes. And tomorrow I get nails for the big ballroom comp. this weekend. I am still pretty nervous about it!

Weekend

Monday, shmunday. Had the morning off work today, but I had to get up anyway to study for a sewing midterm. Darn! Then ended up finishing the midterm by 11:30 and didn't have class till 1 ! Darn again! Could have slept in a little bit later! But I guess it was good I had plenty of time for the test. Today is so busy. In fact, the whole week will be so busy with tons of practice before nationals. I can hardly believe it's next week already. Wow it comes fast.

We had the most random weekend. Raimo and I never stay up past midnight, but on Friday we stayed up till 2 watching Mad Men (I was at work till 1), and on Saturday we stayed up in Salt Lake till 12:30 hanging out with Alister after my choir concert. We got to bed so late! And so yesterday we had to get up at 7:50 am, so we took a nap after church. For FOUR AND A HALF hours!! (probably a record for me) so we weren't tired for bed till about 1 am again. It's a bad cycle! Must go to bed by 11:30, or I get SO messed up. I'm feeling really sluggish today.

PS we had to get up at 7:50 yesterday because ward choir was meeting to practice before sacrament. I am ward choir director, and our performance of How Great Thou Art went quite well, if I do say so myself.

Countdown time!!!

Yay this makes life happy:

-2 weeks till Nationals
-6 weeks till I'm done with Biology
-8 more weeks of school
-9 more weeks till graduation
-9 weeks till endless summer!!!

Happiness is...

a completed, polished resume! I've been working on an application for over five hours now!!! It's practically a job in itself! I hope it pays off--I'm really excited about this one! (Please disregard lack of enthusiasm in last post--I really don't want a brainless job. I want a job that keeps me going every day and that makes me feel like I'm making a contribution to the world!)

SO I tried a Hershey's kiss with cherry flavoring tonight. Pretty much to die for. YUM! Thank you, Louise. I've been thinking a lot during my job-hunting about my current job. It has really been so good to me. I probably couldn't have found a more perfect place for me to be for the last two years-- I really hope my luck continues! It is a place full of really great, really sincere people, and I have also learned a lot of valuable skills here. Actually, I've learned a lot about just life "on the job"--how to interact with people, how to work at something till you get it, how to work to exceed expectations, how to find ways to make your job/systems better, how to improve your work through your attitude, etc.

Some of my favorite memories here have been chatting with friends on late night shifts, enjoying the excitement that came with the flood in the old office, the excitement of the windows in the new office, laughing at some of the funny requests from our callers, going to retreats and parties where we did silly activities and get-to-know-you games, and making international calls (cuz who doesn't like making those??) I'm really sad it is coming to an end this semester.

So here's to all you work friends out there. I know some of you read this and just don't comment! Ha! Leave me a comment with some hugs.

K thanks. Bye

This has not been the best week so far, but I think it's going to get better starting Thursday. We have so many things that need paying off right now, but we're still spending. And, like 10 checks we wrote a long time ago were cashed. I hate that. Such bad check etiquette. We can't seem to get caught up. I wish I could work more than 20 hours a week. I've been doing some job hunting--they say you need to start a year before you graduate. Oops. At least I still have three months. And really, I would just like a nice, brainless job. I don't want all the commitment of anything more right now. Any nice brainless jobs out there? I'm just tired.

It's ballroom season. I have finally mastered the art of becoming orange. It isn't that easy actually. I'm nervous about competing, but it's what we dance for, so we have to do it. I currently have three dance partners, which means I practice three hours a day. What was I thinking. I think this will be my last dancesport. I'm ready for a change of scene, of pace, of activity. Raimo is not ready for any changes. Lucky for him he still has more school so there will probably be no change. Ugh!

We have had a really dry winter this year--I'm glad about that because it means less walking to school in the snow. But I am afraid we will have to make up for it in April or something. Utah likes to pull those on you. Just wait. Graduation day I will have an inch of snow on my cap. Thing is, I'm pretty sure it's one of the only days I wouldn't even care. Unless I get new heels of course.

Oh, and we got the new bigscreen. It is pretty much bigger than our apartment. It is blowing our minds to have volume control again. So nice. Suddenly our friends want to come over. Hmmm

Am I the only one whose arm hairs are starting to look dark? I need need some sun! I want to actually feel it-- "I want to soak it in through my eyeballs," as one classmate said in a winter poem last semester. The funny thing is I know exactly what she means. Is there anyone out there who enjoys having winter from November to April? Really--tell me.

Finding joy

I spent 5 hours this morning perusing the internet at work because I just couldn't bring myself to crack the Biology book. While wasting 5 perfectly good hours of the day, I found myself browsing all kinds of blogs and sites, window shopping (should we call it monitor shopping since there really is no window??) and blog browsing. I just read a blog that was very inspirational, and I realized that we spend the majority of our time thinking "I want, I want, I want." Even if it isn't always material things we are wanting, there is usually a state of being we are wanting (married, moved, eating lunch, getting to bed, home-buying, debt-paying off, less busy, more busy) or a body type (healthier, slimmer, older, younger) or a personality (funnier, kinder, bolder, spiritualer) that we are wanting. I think I do spend a lot of my thoughts thinking about wants.... and that is not necessarily bad because that is just how life works. Wants make us do new and great (or even small and simple, but important) things.

I read two blog posts that got me thinking: one about Thanksgiving, and one about New Years'. SO in my mind is a combination of goal-setting and gratitude. This year when I was thinking about making resolutions, I really wasn't in the mood. Every year I write a full-blown list of things I want to accomplish, who I want to become, what talents I want to work on. I love lists. But I think I was feeling a little tired on New Years' Day as we drove back to bleak Provo (see? I'm "wanting" yet again for something in my Provo-hatred). Raimo and I made some resolutions together, but they were all financial goals.

Since then I have been trying to come up with the perfect goal for me in 2010, and I just didn't know what it was. In choir last week we had a devotional about goals. That day I thought of just one simple thing I that I could do to make this year better, and so I wrote it in my choir folder: Find Joy. Each day I open that folder and it stares back at me, and I think about whether I'm enjoying where I am in life right at that moment.

The seemingly mundane things in my life often bring me a lot of joy if I really think about it. Sometimes when I'm wishing for warmer weather, I remind myself that I really do like cloudy days and how they feel (even if the cold is harsh). When I'm thinking about how I don't like work, I think to myself that I really do like my job overall and I like the people I meet there and the satisfaction I get from making my own money. If I am not enjoying my schoolwork, I think to myself about how I enjoy what I get to do at school (read, sew, edit, learn, sing, dance) and it really changes for me. I think I'm also taking a little more time to "savor the moments" each day. I enjoy making my house look cute and clean, I enjoy sitting back to watch a movie, I enjoy the little time I get to have my husband's undivided attention, I try to enjoy how little money we have because it makes us appreciate things more.

Finding joy is going to be my 2010. It is a good year for this--I am finishing school, I am starting a new chapter, I am finishing dance, I am finishing choir, I am gaining some free time, I am going on vacations, I am going to see less of Raimo... some of these things are bittersweet. But I think my frame of mind can make all these experiences very positive. I don't want to waste my thoughts with "I wants" too often (I'm sure I will indulge and continue wanting fairly often), and I hope I can make the most of life. So there. Three weeks into January I have finally figured out my resolution. It is a feel-good goal, and I like it.