I got to know Matt in unique setting--we were building houses in Mexico with our church youth program, and we just happened to be in the same group or "family" (we were the big brother and sister in our family). I had seen Matt at other youth activities, but it wasn't until we were working alongside each other, nailing boards together, wearing matching t-shirts and bandannas, that I actually talked to him for the first time. Matt is easy to like. He is good-natured, well-spoken, chivalrous, kind, intelligent, and extremely driven and hard-working. We had a wonderful time on that trip, and our 'parents' kind of hinted and teased that we should date. Matt was never particularly forward though, and I honestly never knew quite what he thought about me. We did, however, go out on some dates and have some really fun times together.
We made a lot of trips to Cold Stone, played baseball in the backyard... and went on dates. My favorite date was a perfect evening in Palm Springs. We took in the view on the aerial tram, enjoyed the cool air at the top, and trekked around the trails. As I hiked around, getting dirt in my sandals, Matt kept me going with promises of a nice dinner to follow. And he delivered, taking me out for a really delicious meal at a fancy restaurant. The thing that made the night so special was just talking and laughing and holding hands while we walked. Before heading home, we drove out into the dark desert to wait for a meteor shower, which unfortunately never turned up, but that didn't really matter because it was the waiting that was so great.
We went out on dates, but I always got the feeling he was doing it just to go on a date. I honestly didn't think he liked me, though he must have at least liked hanging out with me. We emailed during college and got together sometimes when we were both back at home. Westpoint seemed to change him drastically, or at least it changed his demeanor and outlook. He seemed even more focused, even more disciplined, and I felt even further away from him. I am sure that was more of a phase of his life and that he has settled into a more normal, social lifestyle since then, but I could not understand how he endured such a controlled two years there! He has mental stamina unlike anyone else I know. It also really stuns me that Matt is not married yet since he is the kind of guy mormon girls love. The only things that could possibly have prevented this so far (just guessing here) include: 1) he is completely and wholly focused on his personal goals, which include but are not limited to becoming a neurologist! 2) he is totally clueless about the girls who are crushing on him/would love for him to take them out. Yes, I think he is totally clueless as to how many girls thought he was cute in high school. Maybe he didn't even know how much I liked him. I felt like most of our relationship was carried on by me and my emails and such.
I know he will achieve every dream he has set for himself. And one day (maybe when some girl takes matters into her own hands) he will make her extremely happy.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Current Events
Currently eating: German Chocolate Cake ice cream
Currently Netflixing: 90210, The Hills, Heroes (Raimo mostly), America's Funniest Home Videos (all Raimo. Why do boys like watching people fall down?)
Currently painting: a headboard white and a side table teal
Currently wishing: to reconnect with a particular friend
Currently planning: on buying Rose an exersaucer
Currently loving: the warm weather
Currently Rose: is getting her first tooth!
Currently Netflixing: 90210, The Hills, Heroes (Raimo mostly), America's Funniest Home Videos (all Raimo. Why do boys like watching people fall down?)
Currently painting: a headboard white and a side table teal
Currently wishing: to reconnect with a particular friend
Currently planning: on buying Rose an exersaucer
Currently loving: the warm weather
Currently Rose: is getting her first tooth!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
8 Months
-Pulls herself around the room on her belly
-Stands on all fours
-Sleeps 7-6
-Sticks out her tongue
-Frequently holds out her pointer finger for no reason at all
-Smiles at me. All the time!! She looks up at me from the floor and just smiles so big--she is a mama's girl
-Takes 1 or 2 naps-always a little different on the times and lengths
-When I go into the kitchen, about 3 or 4 minutes later she will show up on her little belly. She is very social and likes to be with us!
-Sits up but only when forced. She hates it
-Still moves her right hand like Lina Lamont when she sings Singing in the Rain
-
-I call her princess Rose
-Still loves milk more than anything else
-Wears size 2 diapers
-Wears 3-6 month, 6 month, and sometimes 6-9 month clothes
-She smiles so big when I put her in the car seat. What a change!
-She just barely grew into her "newborn" ballet slippers
-She celebrated by pooping in her pink tub for the first time
-Stands on all fours
-Sleeps 7-6
-Sticks out her tongue
-Frequently holds out her pointer finger for no reason at all
-Smiles at me. All the time!! She looks up at me from the floor and just smiles so big--she is a mama's girl
-Takes 1 or 2 naps-always a little different on the times and lengths
-When I go into the kitchen, about 3 or 4 minutes later she will show up on her little belly. She is very social and likes to be with us!
-Sits up but only when forced. She hates it
-Still moves her right hand like Lina Lamont when she sings Singing in the Rain
-Still loves milk more than anything else
-Wears size 2 diapers
-Wears 3-6 month, 6 month, and sometimes 6-9 month clothes
-She smiles so big when I put her in the car seat. What a change!
-She just barely grew into her "newborn" ballet slippers
-She celebrated by pooping in her pink tub for the first time
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Dating Diaries 6
Are you getting tired of these??
Daniel
He was never my boyfriend. He dated one of my girlfriends for most of high school, but we did hang out in groups or at his house sometimes. He lived a few streets away from my grandparents' house, so he came over to visit me there a few times. My grandpa called him "Danny boy". They were good pals, and had the Idaho connection since Grandpa was born there and Daniel went to Pocatello on his mission. Daniel was super huge, super fun, and someone I could be really goofy with. We would jam at the piano for fun and mess around at youth events and just have fun together. When I think of my memories of him, I picture the two of us just laughing and laughing together.
Daniel never took the leap to ask me on a real date in high school. It was more of a friendship at the time, however we wrote during his mission and when he came home we did spend some time together. He was still acting strange as a newly returned missionary just getting back into the swing of things, and hanging out together wasn't as easy as it had been before. Around that time, his brother actually took me on a date (which I don't think was that great for either of us). Later that night Daniel showed up at my house after the date. He could probably have picked a better night to do this. We took a walk around the block, and after much dilly-dallying, he finally told me how he felt. But the timing wasn't very good--I didn't feel the way I had before. And so, after a lot of years of flirting and hanging out together, nothing ever happened.
Stevie
We were also never officially boyfriend and girlfriend. In fact, we never went out on a real date. But he seems significant enough that I need to share a few memories. We were in choir together, both chamber singers and show choir, and so we saw a lot of each other in high school. There were a lot of things I liked about him: how kind he was to everyone, how he had a strong conviction about God like me, how he was a great singer, how he was really tall and cute. There was a time when we started talking with each other about our religions--we kind of went back and forth over the phone one night. I remember really wanting him to understand and see truth in my beliefs, and I'm sure he felt the same about his own. I think this kept us from ever dating--we were both so involved in our own churches and wanted to share that with whomever we dated. I also felt like his parents didn't want him spending too much time with me. A few times I went over to his house to listen to him jam with his friends or play with his 11 younger siblings. Yes, I also appreciated the fact that he loved little kids as much as me. All my dating life I was searching for a family man.
Did I tell you he wrote me a song for my birthday? He did. My best friend threw me a surprise birthday party when I turned 18. I think I was still dating Robbie at this point, but at that party Stevie got out his guitar and sang the song for me. I died. So sweet. So up my alley. And later that semester, when we were flying out to New York, we actually sat by each other on the plane ride over. It was totally exciting and we might have been snuggling or something, until the woman (a stranger) sitting on the other side of me started giving us this sermon about chastity/not letting my boyfriend push me into anything. I have no idea where this came from as we were not even dating and both cared very much about virtue. We never talked to each other about that strange experience. It kind of killed the rest of the plane ride. I didn't see much of Stevie on the trip after that. He was usually surrounded by other girls all the time anyway (a few specific ones that probably had crushes on him too).
There was one kiss. It was totally unexpected. And unexpectedly good. I went over to his house, and somehow he was the only one there. All the details are a little foggy as to exactly when or how it came about-- I didn't write about it in my journal until much later. He didn't have a shirt on and it was so quiet in the house. It was probably the only time the two of us were ever totally alone, and it just happened all of a sudden. But it was a real kiss, as in a kiss that really made me feel things. This really didn't happen often for me. It caught me so off guard and it was like all of our unexpressed feeling for each other went into just those couple of minutes. It was a Notebook kind of kiss where he picked me up with ease, and suddenly we're moving about the house. Even thinking about it now, I can remember that excitement and surprise running all through me.
We never acknowledged what happened or talked about our feelings, which seems really weird to me now. Why ever not?? I liked to imagine what we would have been like together--probably a modern VonTrapp duo always breaking out into song, only with more church-going and praying in our house.
I love that movie.
Daniel
He was never my boyfriend. He dated one of my girlfriends for most of high school, but we did hang out in groups or at his house sometimes. He lived a few streets away from my grandparents' house, so he came over to visit me there a few times. My grandpa called him "Danny boy". They were good pals, and had the Idaho connection since Grandpa was born there and Daniel went to Pocatello on his mission. Daniel was super huge, super fun, and someone I could be really goofy with. We would jam at the piano for fun and mess around at youth events and just have fun together. When I think of my memories of him, I picture the two of us just laughing and laughing together.
Daniel never took the leap to ask me on a real date in high school. It was more of a friendship at the time, however we wrote during his mission and when he came home we did spend some time together. He was still acting strange as a newly returned missionary just getting back into the swing of things, and hanging out together wasn't as easy as it had been before. Around that time, his brother actually took me on a date (which I don't think was that great for either of us). Later that night Daniel showed up at my house after the date. He could probably have picked a better night to do this. We took a walk around the block, and after much dilly-dallying, he finally told me how he felt. But the timing wasn't very good--I didn't feel the way I had before. And so, after a lot of years of flirting and hanging out together, nothing ever happened.
Stevie
We were also never officially boyfriend and girlfriend. In fact, we never went out on a real date. But he seems significant enough that I need to share a few memories. We were in choir together, both chamber singers and show choir, and so we saw a lot of each other in high school. There were a lot of things I liked about him: how kind he was to everyone, how he had a strong conviction about God like me, how he was a great singer, how he was really tall and cute. There was a time when we started talking with each other about our religions--we kind of went back and forth over the phone one night. I remember really wanting him to understand and see truth in my beliefs, and I'm sure he felt the same about his own. I think this kept us from ever dating--we were both so involved in our own churches and wanted to share that with whomever we dated. I also felt like his parents didn't want him spending too much time with me. A few times I went over to his house to listen to him jam with his friends or play with his 11 younger siblings. Yes, I also appreciated the fact that he loved little kids as much as me. All my dating life I was searching for a family man.
Did I tell you he wrote me a song for my birthday? He did. My best friend threw me a surprise birthday party when I turned 18. I think I was still dating Robbie at this point, but at that party Stevie got out his guitar and sang the song for me. I died. So sweet. So up my alley. And later that semester, when we were flying out to New York, we actually sat by each other on the plane ride over. It was totally exciting and we might have been snuggling or something, until the woman (a stranger) sitting on the other side of me started giving us this sermon about chastity/not letting my boyfriend push me into anything. I have no idea where this came from as we were not even dating and both cared very much about virtue. We never talked to each other about that strange experience. It kind of killed the rest of the plane ride. I didn't see much of Stevie on the trip after that. He was usually surrounded by other girls all the time anyway (a few specific ones that probably had crushes on him too).
There was one kiss. It was totally unexpected. And unexpectedly good. I went over to his house, and somehow he was the only one there. All the details are a little foggy as to exactly when or how it came about-- I didn't write about it in my journal until much later. He didn't have a shirt on and it was so quiet in the house. It was probably the only time the two of us were ever totally alone, and it just happened all of a sudden. But it was a real kiss, as in a kiss that really made me feel things. This really didn't happen often for me. It caught me so off guard and it was like all of our unexpressed feeling for each other went into just those couple of minutes. It was a Notebook kind of kiss where he picked me up with ease, and suddenly we're moving about the house. Even thinking about it now, I can remember that excitement and surprise running all through me.
We never acknowledged what happened or talked about our feelings, which seems really weird to me now. Why ever not?? I liked to imagine what we would have been like together--probably a modern VonTrapp duo always breaking out into song, only with more church-going and praying in our house.
I love that movie.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
It feels so nice
to step back into my little home after being out and about on a very cold, windy day. My face still feels a little numb and my hands are a little hot--my body is overcompensating for the freezing temperatures. Little Rose is army crawling around the room, and I'm trying not to cringe over the fact that the floor needs vacuuming (sorry, baby girl!) But I have a couple of new pieces of thrifted furniture that I'm excited about, and I think a little Kardashians and hot stew are in order. Saturdays are the best!!!
What do you like about Saturday??
What do you like about Saturday??
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Miss you, Michael!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeiFF0gvqcc&feature=endscreen&NR=1
I had never seen this video. Michael is so cute with his long hair!! Love his little smile and sweet moves.
I had never seen this video. Michael is so cute with his long hair!! Love his little smile and sweet moves.
Dating Diaries 5
I was inspired by another blogger, Cjanerun, who wrote about 5 of her past loves. Each story was so different and so beautiful, and in each story she reflected on how that person had influenced her. I find relationships very interesting, and I think you can learn a lot about yourself through dating and friendships. With it being February, love has been on my mind lately and I've been remembering some pretty great valentines-of-the-past as well as some great people I got to date (there have been a lot of them). I think I'd like to take a little look back on some of the loves of my youth. Maybe this will get interesting! This blog could use a little spicing up, after all!
I met Robbie at a fireside at our bishop's house. He had just moved to Riverside from Washington, and we both liked each other right away--we visited quite a bit that night, and before long we were dating. He was a year younger than me, but it didn't matter to me at all. I could joke around with him and have a good time, plus he was cute and really tall and big. He played on our high school football team. If there was anything he loved more than me, it was football. I went to a lot of his games, and he would come to my music stuff. It's too bad I wasn't doing cheer anymore because that would have been really fun to be on the field together.
Robbie and I not only dated, but had a really good friendship as well. We could just relax at home and have a great time together. We spent a lot of nights just watching movies, cuddling on the couch.
I know Robbie sincerely cared about me. Though a lot of our time together was pretty simple, once in a while he would do something extraordinary. One time I mentioned to him that I wished people still treated dates the way they did in old times, getting dressed up and showing respect and decorum. He showed up for our next date to the movies wearing a suit. Another great date was seeing Les Mis in San Diego with his parents--it was one of the most breath-taking nights of my life hearing all that beautiful music live for the first time. We went out to a fancy restaurant where the food was just divine. I really enjoyed his parents and spent a lot of time at their house my senior year.
We also went to midwinter together. I wore my favorite dress ever--it was fitted and rouched with ivory silky material and had some ruffles down at the bottom. We had a fun night, but honestly I had more fun with Robbie when we were one-on-one. It wasn't my favorite formal dance.
Though Robbie and I went to the same church, he was always back and forth about whether he really believed in it. It is the number one thing that made me fall out of like with him and most of my high school boyfriends. I was holding out for a guy who I could share that part of my life with. It got old always encouraging them to find their faith and it wasn't very attractive to me. While it was easy to let go of our dating, it was sad losing a really good friend. Unfortunately, there was a lot of animosity between us afterward and that was kind of how our friendship ended.
Over spring break of my senior year, my choir got to go on a trip to New York. It was my first trip to the Big Apple, and I enjoyed getting to experience it with so many friends. While it was Stevie that I had a crush on, another friend, Chris, started to get my attention during the trip. He was Filipino and a total sweetheart. I had never even thought of Chris before then--he dated another girl through most of high school (she was actually one of the cheerleaders I was always hoisting up over my head). So while it was a total surprise to realize I liked him, it was a good surprise. When we got home, we were boyfriend and girlfriend and had such a fun summer together.
Chris was a really wonderful boyfriend--he did all the things girls wish their boyfriends would do. He would plan everything out, and we'd have these wonderful dates. We went to senior prom together, and had such a wonderful time and danced the night away. We also regularly spent time with both of our families. Chris would sometimes just come over to my house to play nintendo or throw the baseball around with my brothers--I liked any boyfriend that took a real interest in my family, so I really appreciated that about him. At his house, we would go swimming or do karaoke with his parents. To my delight, he started working at a sushi bar and I would go visit him and have him make me delicious sushi rolls. :) We went to Disneyland, went dancing, went to the movies, and just played and played. Since I was completely done with high school and my responsibilities, I was able to just enjoy life before college started up. It was my favorite summer ever.
For one of our last dates that summer, he took me to Irvine Spectrum and we had a really nice dinner, shopped for clothes, got Golden Spoon, and rode the ferris wheel (I was terrified). After that we went down to the beach and played around on the lifeguard tower. It was a really romantic, fun night. When it came time for me to leave for BYU, we talked about taking turns visiting each other from afar. Despite our good intentions, once I got to BYU I was completely immersed in a whole new world and realized what a separate, exciting life I still had ahead of me. Our relationship didn't last long-distance. Chris had actually said to me that he'd be willing to get baptized in my church if that was important to me. I thought that was an amazing gesture, greater than maybe any other from a boy in high school. It was incredibly generous. I'm sure he didn't quite realize all that joining my church entailed and how much it affects every single part of my life. I appreciated how willing he was to not drink or party when we were dating--he was an example to me of being willing to be flexible for someone you care about, something that I have needed to embrace and learn in my marriage! Chris is one of the few guys I dated that I still consider a friend and like catching up with every so often.
P.S. Chris was one of the best kissers
I met Robbie at a fireside at our bishop's house. He had just moved to Riverside from Washington, and we both liked each other right away--we visited quite a bit that night, and before long we were dating. He was a year younger than me, but it didn't matter to me at all. I could joke around with him and have a good time, plus he was cute and really tall and big. He played on our high school football team. If there was anything he loved more than me, it was football. I went to a lot of his games, and he would come to my music stuff. It's too bad I wasn't doing cheer anymore because that would have been really fun to be on the field together.
Robbie and I not only dated, but had a really good friendship as well. We could just relax at home and have a great time together. We spent a lot of nights just watching movies, cuddling on the couch.
I know Robbie sincerely cared about me. Though a lot of our time together was pretty simple, once in a while he would do something extraordinary. One time I mentioned to him that I wished people still treated dates the way they did in old times, getting dressed up and showing respect and decorum. He showed up for our next date to the movies wearing a suit. Another great date was seeing Les Mis in San Diego with his parents--it was one of the most breath-taking nights of my life hearing all that beautiful music live for the first time. We went out to a fancy restaurant where the food was just divine. I really enjoyed his parents and spent a lot of time at their house my senior year.
We also went to midwinter together. I wore my favorite dress ever--it was fitted and rouched with ivory silky material and had some ruffles down at the bottom. We had a fun night, but honestly I had more fun with Robbie when we were one-on-one. It wasn't my favorite formal dance.
Though Robbie and I went to the same church, he was always back and forth about whether he really believed in it. It is the number one thing that made me fall out of like with him and most of my high school boyfriends. I was holding out for a guy who I could share that part of my life with. It got old always encouraging them to find their faith and it wasn't very attractive to me. While it was easy to let go of our dating, it was sad losing a really good friend. Unfortunately, there was a lot of animosity between us afterward and that was kind of how our friendship ended.
Over spring break of my senior year, my choir got to go on a trip to New York. It was my first trip to the Big Apple, and I enjoyed getting to experience it with so many friends. While it was Stevie that I had a crush on, another friend, Chris, started to get my attention during the trip. He was Filipino and a total sweetheart. I had never even thought of Chris before then--he dated another girl through most of high school (she was actually one of the cheerleaders I was always hoisting up over my head). So while it was a total surprise to realize I liked him, it was a good surprise. When we got home, we were boyfriend and girlfriend and had such a fun summer together.
Chris was a really wonderful boyfriend--he did all the things girls wish their boyfriends would do. He would plan everything out, and we'd have these wonderful dates. We went to senior prom together, and had such a wonderful time and danced the night away. We also regularly spent time with both of our families. Chris would sometimes just come over to my house to play nintendo or throw the baseball around with my brothers--I liked any boyfriend that took a real interest in my family, so I really appreciated that about him. At his house, we would go swimming or do karaoke with his parents. To my delight, he started working at a sushi bar and I would go visit him and have him make me delicious sushi rolls. :) We went to Disneyland, went dancing, went to the movies, and just played and played. Since I was completely done with high school and my responsibilities, I was able to just enjoy life before college started up. It was my favorite summer ever.
For one of our last dates that summer, he took me to Irvine Spectrum and we had a really nice dinner, shopped for clothes, got Golden Spoon, and rode the ferris wheel (I was terrified). After that we went down to the beach and played around on the lifeguard tower. It was a really romantic, fun night. When it came time for me to leave for BYU, we talked about taking turns visiting each other from afar. Despite our good intentions, once I got to BYU I was completely immersed in a whole new world and realized what a separate, exciting life I still had ahead of me. Our relationship didn't last long-distance. Chris had actually said to me that he'd be willing to get baptized in my church if that was important to me. I thought that was an amazing gesture, greater than maybe any other from a boy in high school. It was incredibly generous. I'm sure he didn't quite realize all that joining my church entailed and how much it affects every single part of my life. I appreciated how willing he was to not drink or party when we were dating--he was an example to me of being willing to be flexible for someone you care about, something that I have needed to embrace and learn in my marriage! Chris is one of the few guys I dated that I still consider a friend and like catching up with every so often.
P.S. Chris was one of the best kissers
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Current Events
Here's a new idea I have to keep you updated on some of the insignificant, but daily tidbits in my life. It's called Current Events.
Currently Netflixing: Toddlers in Tiaras- It is interesting. Not sure what I think about it yet, but those kids are seriously cute! And Keeping up with the Kardashians. Funny.
Currently Reading: The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (just started)
Currently Planning: on buying some cream colored paint for a headboard I just bought off KSL
Currently Eating: banana bread I made yesterday. yummmm
Currently Wishing: for some bookshelves so I can organize and display all my piles and piles of books!
Currently Rose: Is biting my knee, and her flower headband has fallen over one eye, pirate style. Arrr.
I just barely updated my blog, and it is so much easier to upload photos! Woohoo!
Currently Netflixing: Toddlers in Tiaras- It is interesting. Not sure what I think about it yet, but those kids are seriously cute! And Keeping up with the Kardashians. Funny.
Currently Reading: The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss (just started)
Currently Planning: on buying some cream colored paint for a headboard I just bought off KSL
Currently Eating: banana bread I made yesterday. yummmm
Currently Wishing: for some bookshelves so I can organize and display all my piles and piles of books!
Currently Rose: Is biting my knee, and her flower headband has fallen over one eye, pirate style. Arrr.
I just barely updated my blog, and it is so much easier to upload photos! Woohoo!
Interlaken
On Bachelor this week they went to Interlaken, Switzerland, which was one of the stops I made with my girlfriends when we backpacked through Europe. It is a little town between two huge lakes (hence the name) and surrounded by mountains on all sides. It is the most AMAZING place--I have seriously never seen scenery like that anywhere else. We spent most of our time there just taking scenic boat rides and tram rides, which was well worth it because it is just a magical place. It made me nostalgic and hopeful that I'll someday be able to travel and see more of the world.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Christ's Atonement
Raimo and I spoke in church yesterday, which was a little quick. We've only been in the ward for two weeks. It is always a good experience though, even if it is nerve-wracking. Raimo did such a good job, and I would post it, but he didn't write out his talk like me. But I, being an English major, chose to type mine up like I would an essay. So here it is:
My husband and I are new to the ward so I guess this is a perfect chance for us to introduce ourselves to all of you. My name is Jessica Laitinen. I grew up in Riverside, California, went to BYU where I studied English and also met my husband, Raimo. I’ll tell you our story really quickly. We actually met ballroom dancing. We were in the same dance class my sophomore year, and I thought he was so cute—he was a little aloof. Our dating happened little by little, but Raimo turned out to be the most determined man. I was actually dating someone else in the class with us, and that guy would walk with me halfway to my next class and we would part ways. Well Raimo started following behind us, and he would pick up where the other guy left off and would walk me the rest of the way to my next class. This says a lot about Raimo—he is very persistent, a little bit funny, and very determined, and these characteristics continue to shine through in our marriage, in his work, and in his testimony. After much dancing and much dating, we were married a year and a half later in the Newport Beach temple. And just this last July our sweet baby girl, Rose Colette, joined our family. She is the joy of our life. Being first-time parents, we are so in love and just in awe of how wonderful it is.
So that is a little bit about our family. We are speaking today about the Atonement. Last Sunday our relief society lesson was about the Savior, and I loved hearing the women share their feelings about Him. We all reverence Him and love Him so very much, and it strengthens my testimony to hear others speak of Him. He is beloved. He is sacred to us. He is our helper, friend, and (perhaps most importantly) the one who redeemed us. I have a testimony of Jesus Christ—I know He lived, I know His teachings are true, I know He died and was resurrected, and I know He was more than just a wonderful man and teacher. He is God’s son, and I know He atoned for my sins so I can have the choice to repent of my mistakes and live with God again one day.
The bible dictionary gives a wonderful overview of the atonement so I will start with that as a reminder of what the atonement actually was and what it means for each of us. I like this because it is so well-written and covers so many important points in just a few words. It says:
“The word describes the setting “at one” of those who have been estranged, and denotes the reconciliation of man to God. Sin is the cause of the estrangement, and therefore the purpose of the atonement is to correct or overcome the consequences of sin. From the time of Adam to the death of Jesus Christ, true believers were instructed to offer animal sacrifices to the Lord. These sacrifices were symbolic of the forth-coming death of Jesus Christ, and were done by faith in him. Jesus Christ, as the Only Begotten Son of God and the only sinless person to live on this earth, was the only one capable of making an atonement for mankind. By his selection and foreordination in the Grand Council before the world was formed, his divine Sonship, his sinless life, the shedding of his blood in the garden of Gethsemane, his death on the cross and subsequent bodily resurrection from the grave, he made a perfect atonement for all mankind. All are covered unconditionally as pertaining to the fall of Adam. Hence, all shall rise from the dead with immortal bodies, because of Jesus’ atonement. “For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive”, and all little Children are innocent at birth. The atonement is conditional, however, so far as each person’s individual sins are concerned, and touches every one to the degree that he has faith in Jesus Christ, repents of his sins, and obeys the gospel. The atonement of Jesus Christ redeems all mankind from the fall of Adam and causes all to be answerable for their own manner of life. This means of atonement is provided by the Father, and is offered in the life and person of his Son, Jesus Christ.”
In preparation I studied some talks from the recent General Conference. My talk today is just a collection of their thoughts and my own interpretation of those thoughts.
Elder Carl B. Cook talked about an experience in which President Monson caught him looking down in an elevator—he was overwhelmed by his new calling and feeling the stress, and was showing those feelings in his face. President Monson said, “It is better to look up!” Elder Cook says that if we, like President Monson, exercise our faith and look to God for help, we will not be overwhelmed with the burdens of life. We will not feel incapable of doing what we are called to do or need to do. We will be strengthened, and our lives will be filled with peace and joy. We will come to realize that most of what we worry about is not of eternal significance—and if it is, the Lord will help us.” I found this particular quote to be very encouraging, and a good reminder that Heavenly Father wants to help us and wants us to be happy. I think sometimes I feel guilty asking God for help. But He wants us to! I put myself in His position for a moment—if my son or daughter were struggling in any way or was in need of my help, I would want them to come to me! It can be extremely difficult to admit the need for help, but we can remember He is our Father and has this infinite ability to forgive! And that for me is quite hard to imagine, but he wants to forgive us and wants us to recognize our faults and weaknesses. It is part of the purging process on this earth in which we are stretched and become more perfect and more like Him. “President Monson’s encouragement to look up is a metaphor for remembering Christ. As we remember Him and trust in His power, we receive strength through His Atonement. It is the means whereby we can be relieved of our anxieties, our burdens, and our suffering. It is the means whereby we can be forgiven and healed from the pain of our sins. It is the means whereby we can receive the faith and strength to endure all things.”
I like the fact that he lists so many different ways the atonement can work in our lives. Perhaps the most obvious way is allowing us to repent of sin, but he also lists how it can take away the pain of our sins, our guilt, once we have repented. It can give us strength, relieve our anxieties, burdens, suffering, and give us the faith and strength to endure all things. Whenever I am reminded of all the many facets of the atonement, I think to myself—am I really making good use of this gift?? I think I just forget from day to day the many ways it can bless me and help me to become a more faith-filled, happy person.
I want each of you to think of a trial, or a burden, or a hardship in your life right now, or anything that is weighing you down. Keep it in mind as I share this. A Stake Relief Society president at a conference in South Africa gave each attendee a helium balloon. She explained that their balloon represented whatever was holding them back in their lives. On the count of three, they all released their balloons, or their “burdens.” There was an audible “Ahhhhh.” I want you each to imagine what it would feel like to let go of your balloon, or your trial. That is how the atonement can work for us. I have felt that relief of turning over my burdens to the Lord, both in repenting of my sins and also in turning to Him for strength and metaphorically releasing my balloons when I am experiencing hardships or trials. It is the most wonderful relief!
Elder D Todd Christofferson said, “Rather than interrupting the celebration, the gift of repentance is the cause for true celebration.” When we think about repentance, I think we dread it. But he is saying it is a joyful thing. He also points out that “suffering for sin does not by itself change anything for the better.” That’s an important point. Holding onto the sin or the guilt of sin does not change us for the better, nor does it make us feel any better.
Elder LeGrand R Curtis pointed out an insight in his talk that offers new meaning to Christ’s title “Redeemer”. To redeem is to buy or to buy back property. For example, property is redeemed by paying off its mortgage. I think it is interesting to consider the atonement as an act of paying off my mortgage. Not my house mortgage, but actually paying off ME. I think I sometimes equate the “Christ redeemed me” with “Christ suffered for me” and while each is true, their meanings are totally different. The fact that our Redeemer was willing to buy each one of us back shows us how important we are to him. Not only did he suffer for us, he satisfied the demands of justice. This can teach us that the worth of every soul is great to Him. It can help us to choose to repent, knowing He believe in us. It can also help us, as we repent, to know that He values us that much, and therefore we ought to believe in ourselves and in our ability to become better.
One final thought that came to me is the point of life is not so that we can do everything right. The point is that we already know we are going to get it wrong, but will have the courage to repent and improve ourselves. Elder Cook said “Real repentance, real change may require repeated attempts, but there is something refining and holy in such striving.” I thought that line was just so beautiful and it rang true with me. It is the striving that is so important—this continual repenting and turning of our hearts will prepare us for celestial living.
I am grateful and feel lucky to know about the atonement. It is not a subject other religions focus on—the focus is more on his death on the cross. But this most important event happened earlier, in the Garden of Gethsemane, where Christ kneeled down, prepared to undergo this most painful and unbelievably difficult event in order to offer salvation to every person who had and would ever live. It amazes me that he did it knowing that not all people would choose to accept this gift from Him. It was His greatest sacrifice both of body and spirit, and it is what saves you and me from spiritual death.
I love Him.
Close
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)