Poetry

Sing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; for the feet of those who are in the east shall be established; and break forth into singing, O mountains; for they shall be smitten no more; for the Lord hath comforted his people, and will have mercy upon his afflicted.

Behold, Zion hath said: The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me--but he will show that he hath not.

Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.

Dating Diaries 15

(continued) After Valentine's Day Raimo took me out constantly. There were a few other lingering guys that eventually left the picture- I wasn't interested in anyone like I was in him. We competed in our first ballroom competition together that month even though we each had other competition partners. I loved the idea of sharing that hobby with someone. A guy who can dance? Amazing! Ballroom was also the source of many arguments (and continued to be in our marriage) but it was also the thing that brought us together in the first place. He got to know my family and family friends- my moms good friend Karen told me she was rooting for him! The opinions of my loved ones meant a great deal to me so it was nice to be with someone they enjoyed. We were pretty thick by the end of winter semester, at which point I took off to Europe for a 2 1/2 month study abroad and traveling. He drove down to California with me to see me off, and we said I love you for the first time.
We wrote letters and emails while I was away, but our communication was not very exciting. In fact, we still do not have great conversations when we are away from each other. In that case, absence did not make the heart grow fonder. I went home to California and shortly after I broke things off.
However, when I returned to BYU in the fall, I went to visit him. He was looking hot and it basically took no time at all for us to get back together. It happened like this. I had gone out with someone else on a date that first weekend. I got home a little early and started texting my brother David about missing Raimo. Meanwhile, David started texting Raimo that he should call me. Raimo was hesitant, but David was persistent, sly little brother! That night Raimo came over, we started watching Bewitched, and were kissing before long.
I realized that this was a turning point for me- either I would stay with him and move into a more serious relationship (heading toward marriage) or I should break up and move on. I really couldn't get myself to stop thinking about him, so we got back together. We became dance partners officially and started taking lessons and competing together. I was only 20 and was feeling a little afraid of a serious relationship and marriage, but was unwilling to give up Raimo. I was very happy with him. Another important event happened on a trip we took to Seattle that fall...

A week in Park City

Earlier in June my family came up to Utah for a week and started with seeing my play on Saturday. It was so exciting to have family and friends in the audience. We stayed in Park City for the week and went to Lagoon, the pool, the zoo, and rode the alpine slide and zip line. It went by fast and it was really fun to see my family.

11 months

Oh my baby Rose!!! She has grown up so much lately. She is talking constantly, babbling and making sounds on the insides of her cheeks. It is so funny though because she looks into our eyes and seems to be really talking  to us and inviting us to converse with her. She started doing it very very loudly yesterday in church from the very back row where we were sitting. Raimo went up to sing with the men for Father's Day and she was saying "DA DA DA DA BABABa" really loud. Awesome. We think her first word was duck. She was really on a roll with that one, and responded to a few different duck things we have in our house with "Duck (sounds more like Duh really fast) and even with some "Quack" sounds. She is also really into laughing. This afternoon I was laying on the bedroom floor with her, and I pretended to start laughing and she opened her mouth wide and started laughing back as though I had just told her the funniest joke. I can go back and forth with her, laughing and laughing and she just thinks it's the best! She goes to bed now at 8 pm and wakes around 6. Sometimes I have to stumble into her room around 5 and find a binky/ encourage her to go back to sleep. She takes 2 naps, occasionally 3, that are about an hour long. She sleeps so well in her little bed, but that stubborn girl refuses! if she is not in the mood to go to sleep and will climb up the side and holler at us until we come back in. She doesn't give up, even after she has exhausted herself from crying!

She is eating a lot more of what I call human food. I still give her pureed baby stuff most of the time, but she is much more interested in whatever we happen to be eating. She likes bread, potatoes, tomatoes, pork (just a tiny tiny taste), pears, ice cream (duh), crackers, cookies... I can't think what all we've allowed her to taste. She will crawl up to our kitchen chairs, climb up and stand on her little tippy toes, and just beg like a puppy till we give her a bite. This continues throughout any meal until we stop eating.

She still has very little hair, but it is starting to grow in blonde and a kind of gets fluffy after a bath. I put those sweet hairs against my face all the time. She is still a little peanut. She has a few 3-6 month and 6 month things in her drawers, though she is growing out of them one by one and is mostly in the 6-9 month stuff. We are just switching up to size 3 diapers because she was filling up her night diaper and leaking. She is well-known (by those who know her) for her hilarious facial expressions. It's hard to catch them all on camera, but she is a girl of many faces. She squinches up her nose and smiles--that's a cute one. Lately she has started this little pout where she furrows her brow and purses her lips so far forward. It always gets a laugh. She still does the "o" with her mouth that she did as a tiny baby. She can also shake her head "no" though she does it with a smile. She has no idea what it means. I didn't realize how very unique every baby is until I had one of my own. She has had so much personality even from her early months of life.

This month has been different in that she will occasionally put her head on my shoulder and let me snuggle her or rub her back. She is still pretty stiff and non-cuddly, but those few moments are so welcome and so nice after wrestling with a strong (and strong-willed) baby! She still loves that pointer finger and will point/ finger things, and stick it in my mouth or the mouths of people standing close by (haha).

I cannot believe I will have a 1 year old next month. I am starting to think that she is going to be a wild toddler. She is already extremely active, opinionated, and fast! I'm sure it will be wonderful in its own way. I love my baby girl though and am going to enjoy this time before she starts walking! 

4 years

So one of my biggest loves has become a part of my life again. No, this is not another episode of the dating diaries! I'm talking about music. I hadn't realized how much I was missing it until I started rehearsals in April. The arts have been a huge part
my life and sometimes I had a hard time just deciding which art form was my favorite and which I should pursue. Singing has always been a top contender though. It makes me happy. The Sound of Music has been really fun for me and has only whet my appetite for more music.

Dating Diaries 14

SO the kiss. I'll talk about it in a sec. First, I remembered an important event that happened over that Christmas break. I was having a party at my house for my 20th birthday. I offhandedly invited Raimo, more as a joke really, since he would be in Utah and I would be in California. Well Raimo showed up. He just happened to visit his brother in Yorba Linda over the date of my party and drove out to see me. In fact, we went salsa dancing the night before the party. When he showed up at my house the next day, he looked so cute in a blue polo, gift and pink roses in tow. My mom, who had never met him, knew this must be Raimo because he had brought roses. I had rented a castle bounce house and invited a big group of friends over. A few previous boyfriends/boys I still went out with showed up. In fact, Marc came over early and we had a really nice time together that day. I even kissed him goodbye (Raimo noticed I spent a little too long saying goodbye to him on the porch). But I was really glad to see Raimo too!
So back to Valentines day. Three different people asked me for a date for that night (as I said before, something weird happened sophomore year and I was dating all the time). I turned down the first two, hoping that Raimo would take me out. Take me out he did. I had had a lot of amazing Valentines in my life, but nothing could prepare me for being romanced by Raimo. There were roses everywhere I went that day, starting at my apartment, on the car windshield, delivered to me in each of my classes that day by his trusty friends, with love letters attached to each one. That night he showed up at my door with a dozen more roses and took me to Ottavio's for Italian food. We loved that restaurant so much! From that night on it was the place we always went when we had something to celebrate. After that we drove to his brother's house in Harriman for a double date. We all made valentines together, then as everyone else was setting up to watch an action movie in the family room, we snuck away and Raimo pulled out a surprise--my favorite Disney movie, Sleeping Beauty. (Funny note, Raimo actually OWNED the movie because his mom gave it to him for his 17th birthday. Thanks a lot, mom. He jokes it was inspiration so it would be in his collection when we were dating.) We watched the whole thing snuggled in the spare room. Raimo was fun to snuggle with. He had the nicest bod and he always smelled good. And during the credits of that movie we had our first kiss (kisses actually) to the tune of "Once Upon a Dream." He is a sneaky little romancer! You want details? I'll just say the credits finished but we did not :) We never made it through a whole movie without kissing after that. After all, what are movies for!? When we finally got back in the car to head home, he pulled out a present for me. A pink BYU sweatshirt. It was around 3 a.m. by the time we finally got home. About this time in our dating, things started really heating up. I never wanted to be apart from him. I thought about him all the time. We spent all of our free time together. He was my first official boyfriend in a while, and I stopped going out with other guys around that time. I was "in like" with him.

Dating Diaries 13

My first date with Raimo was to a Vocal Point concert at BYU. I think we doubled with his brother Risto. I remember I wore a little floral print dress, jeans, and teal flats. Afterward we went to Baskin Robbins for ice cream (Raimo and Risto are both lactose intolerant actually...) I don't remember many details. I feel really sad that I don't remember much of our early dating. I just remember that from the beginning I was very attracted to Raimo and was excited to be with him. I actually wrote about all of our dating, engagement, and wedding in great detail in my journal, then lost it shortly after we were married. Four years later, I am coming to terms with the fact that I will never find that journal--I think I lost it on campus, and it is gone for good. I wish I could revisit all of those wonderful feelings. I even wrote in it on our actual wedding day after our temple sealing! I have to remind myself that what I do and feel now is just as important, but for a girl that likes reminisce about the past and dream about the future, the present is usually a little lack-luster.
We continued going on dates throughout fall semester. Raimo would regularly bring me diet cokes and reeses cups and roses. Something that made me love him even more was the fact that he'd also bring a rose for each of my roommates, who weren't dating anyone at the time. It speaks volumes about the kind of person he is and why I fell in love with him. His kindness is one of the qualities that makes him an especially wonderful father. Needless to say, my roommates were big fans of Raimo!
Now that I think about it, we went quite a while before having our first kiss. It happened on Valentines Day...