Musicals and Oldies

So I watched South Pacific for the first time last night! I loved it. There were some songs I recognized that I didn't know would be in it. Some Enchanted Evening was soo romantic. I didn't even mind the soft focus and the fake coloring--it was awesome! I loved it. Baby loved it too, I'm sure.

Another thought--I was listening to the oldies radio on my commute home, and they played When the Lights Go Down by Journey. Really--when did 80s and 70s music become oldies? When I was little they played 50s and 60s on the oldies station. It made me feel like an oldie.

Another week has come and gone, in the door sales world. It was an extremely cold week out knocking doors, I got a lot of people that said no right off the bat, but even with that, there were quite a few that said yes. In fact I was called back by one guy today, who when I knocked his door, gave me that look that says, I don't have time to talk, besides its freezing, He had only cracked the door open a pinch. I mentioned why the services we offer are great benefit for him, got him laughing, by giving him a business card of mine, and he told me he'd look into it, along with telling me to get out of the cold. it was somewhere in the teens. One of the days it snowed on me ... again while out knocking. I think the best was a super nice family shared with me their dinner. We had KFC, and they signed up. Despite the mean people, there are some truly amazing people out in our communities.
I think alot people think that doing door sales the hardest part would be just being able to talk with people. Which don't get me wrong can be difficult from time to time. Or people ask me if the weather is the most difficult part of this job. Its not that bad when you prepare for the weather, or if you realize that you're going to talk to as many people as possible so be happy to meet someone, who knows, you might meet someone cool. Sometimes its not the actual work of it that is hard. but rather the time spent in doing the work, or the business side of the job is taxing. All in All I've had a great experience with it, and will say, yes I hope the weather warms up a bit. That would be nice, but if not, I'm still out there, meeting some of your neighbors, and getting a feel for what each neighborhood is like.
O funny story, I sent an online order form to a potential customer, only to realize I had sent the email with all the instructions to fill out the form and everything without attaching the PDF online form. So I felt pretty bad, so I took off and personally showed up to fill out a paper form. The Customer recognized my last name and asked if I knew a Jessica, who did ballroom. It turned out the customer had been in some of Jessica's classes in college and were friends a little bit. Kinda a funny moment. Kind of like when I knocked and installed a tv set top box for one Jess's cousins. Yeah those weird moments are pretty cool .

So far, my baby has..

-traveled to Seattle, Salt Lake, Las Vegas, and Riverside
-eaten a lot of In n' Out burgers and a lot of pizza and many oranges
-grown fingers and toes and all major organs
-been to its first Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert
-spent over 300 hours at the University Mall
-attended its first ballroom competition (where mom couldn't figure out why dancing was so exhausting)
-been in the Timpanogos Temple
-gotten its first package in the mail
-gone knocking doors with dad
-listened to a lot of Gloria Estefan and Mariah Carey

More on women

To back up my last post, some great images:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FpyGwP3yzE

Our Perception of Beauty

This is a topic about which I feel very strongly. It’s a message that I wish could be explained to every young girl and teen (and their mothers, who might need to hear it even more).

“They’re sad facts that many of us know: You will never see an average American woman represented in the mass media as a ‘beauty ideal.’ And it is completely reasonable to assume that every image of women you see in the media has been digitally manipulated. So why is that where we get our standard for what is normal and beautiful?”

This quote comes from an article I read called “Beauty Redefined” in the recent edition of LDS Living. I was so glad that someone finally addressed this topic in such a direct way because it is affecting every single woman in America. We sometimes hear the phrase: “Beauty is not on the outside but on the inside” which is a true statement, but not strong enough to convince women who are spoon-fed a completely opposite, man-made concept of what real beauty is. The problem is that we live “in a world where there is a constant flow of media images that far exceeds the number of women we could ever see face to face, creating for us an abnormally thin and digitally enhanced feminine ideal. A counterfeit, dangerous, unattainable norm.” Not only is this the ideal, but it is portrayed as normal and healthy!

You would think we would be able to distinguish the truth from the lies in media. However, women have succumbed to this “narrow” image of woman, affecting their self-esteem, creating a preoccupation with their appearance, influencing them to fall upon eating disorders, and giving them an overall sense of self-loathing. The article included some interesting studies, stating that more than half of adult women claim their bodies “disgust them” and 90 percent of women are dissatisfied with their appearance. Those numbers are astounding, but when I think about some of the women that I know and the things they say about their bodies, those figures seem pretty realistic.

I had to come to terms with my own “disgust” that was taught to me by media. I’ve always been pretty thin and quite confident about myself, but that in no way excluded me from feeling like my body could improve. I remember being very conscious of my weight when I was in middle school. I was pretty proud of my 78 pounds, but sure enough that number went up as I got taller and as my woman curves started to come in. I remember feeling dismayed in my sophomore year of high school when I weighed 113. At 5’ 1’’ I thought that was a little too much. I missed my thin, muscle-and-bone body from a few years before. Putting that down on paper now makes me feel ridiculous. But the fact that I can still remember those numbers just shows how much my perception of beauty was skewed, and it makes me feel happy to have finally gotten to a point where I no longer measure beauty by a dumb scale of weight. I continued to worry about weight, and it kept going up in high school. What I did not realize was I was just not done growing and filling out. It was not something I talked about with anyone, but I know I thought about it often and took my appearance and weight into consideration when I ate and when I bought clothes and makeup. There were times when I thought maybe I should just be anorexic for just a couple of days just to drop a couple of pounds. Fortunately for me, I did not have the self-control for that and I was totally unsuccessful—went on eating as usual. But the strange thing is I was a confident person. I knew I had worth, I didn’t feel particularly unattractive, I wasn’t depressed. But I was still affected by this unrealistic perception of beauty.

Unlike me, there are girls and women out there who have a tremendous amount of self-control and will do just about anything to make them feel good about themselves, dieting and starving to be thin. Another study pointed out that half of all 9- to 12-year-old girls wish they were thinner, and 35 percent of 6-to12-year-old girls have been on at least one diet. This might seem like a shockingly young age group, but the fact is that much of this awareness of weight stems from little girls’ mothers. Mothers go on diets, they talk about how fat they are, they talk about how they despise aspects of their bodies. It is having a very negative impact on little girls, and it is only enforcing even more strongly what little girls see on tv, on billboards, in Barbies, in magazines, etc. It is so important not only to say positive things about a child’s body, but to also say positive things about your own body.

One other interesting thing is that SLC has been ranked “Vainest City in the Nation” in 2007, 2008, and in the top 5 in 2009 because of the amount of botox, plastic surgery, and beauty products sold there. LDS women especially feel like they need to be the perfect mom, the perfect cook and homemaker, the perfect role model of excellence. Why shouldn’t this carry over into the area of perfect body?

I’m pretty sure every single woman struggles with her body image, no matter where she is on the scale of American’s standard of beauty. The plan for the media money-makers is to convince viewers that female worth is dependent upon appearance. We have to first recognize that we women are in a battle before we can start to defend ourselves from their lies: that beauty comes in one form, that it is attainable with enough money, time, and effort (whether in the gym, the mall, or on the operating table), and that women who don’t fit the ideal are doomed to be undesirable, unhappy, and unsuccessful.

I don’t want friends and family to read this and feel bad for me because I used to have a bad body-image. I really do feel good about myself and I do not have any health or eating issues—I weigh much more than I did in high school, so nobody freak out! But I am trying to address this very specific issue of how women feel about their bodies and be honest about how it has affected me, and I hope it gets some people thinking. Some women keep their feelings of inadequacy very deep inside, and some women talk about their disgust with certain parts of themselves freely. I just want to point out that there is another option: to redefine what beauty is entirely. I don’t mean that we should fall back to the cliche that beauty is not on the outside…. but that we should actually redefine physical beauty. I think all women should feel good about their outer and inner selves.

I want to talk about one more good example of our disillusioned thinking. Marilyn Monroe was the icon of the 50s at 5 feet 5 inches and 140 pounds. Her figure represents a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI) of 23.1. In contrast, the sexiest woman alive today, ranked by men and women alike, is Angelina Jolie, at 5 feet 7 inches and close to 100 pounds, representing a 15.7 BMI. An 18.5 BMI and below is considered underweight. The standards that media (and that we ourselves) have set is to be underweight and unhealthy. We fool ourselves into thinking that thin is healthy, but we have pushed that standard to such an extreme that it is unattainable. Even other movie stars who are not as abnormally thin as Angelina still fall under the 18.5 BMI including Victoria Beckham and Jennifer Aniston and hundreds of others.

Our dissatisfaction with ourselves does not just come in the form of weight. Women feel inferior because of an endless list of things! Wrinkles, the shape of specific parts of their body from calves to fingers and toes to noses to ears, the length or color or thickness of their hair, their teeth, their smile lines, the bags under their eyes, their muscle or lack of it, their foot size, the shape of their face, the plumpness of their lips, their nails, the shade of their skin. There are endless ways to be nit-picky about your own body because no one knows it better than you. There are also many ways to counter this way of thinking:

1) When considering your health and weight-loss goals, base them on concrete measures of fitness and wellness, not on a desire to look a certain way or to fit into a certain size or to hit a number on a scale.

2) Consider the women presented in media and ask yourself if they are good role models, if their value is based on talents and personality, or if their worth is based solely on physical beauty.

3) Another important thing to do is to speak highly of your body and to teach children to do the same. Your daughters and family members will learn from you. Self-image can also be just as challenging for men and boys, just with different standards and expectations, so encouraging them is important too.

4) You can also remember that the image of beauty in media is strictly there for money-making purposes. If they can convince you that you are not the ideal beauty, they can convince you that you need their product.

5) Another thing you can do is to encourage other women and help them see their own real beauty. I like to think about how mankind’s perception of beauty has changed over the centuries and across the world. It has changed so many times! It is a concept that we create, it is not a rule that we abide by.

6) The magazine article encourages women to forget about expensive makeup and diet pills—the best way to improve your appearance is to have a little more light in your countenance! Service in any capacity fills us with love and light that radiate from within and draw people near. Sounds cheesy, but it’s really true. The happiest, most beautiful women are the ones who are always thinking of others. It really does enhance even their physical appearance and they are beautiful to all who know them.

I think this topic is not addressed often enough and not in enough detail. There is so much more to a woman that her hair, her cup size, her eye color, her pant size. And it is not just about looking past physical appearance, but learning to love our bodies as they are and rejecting the stereotypes that media want us to believe in.

Strange Dream

For someone who rarely remembers her dreams, it was pretty strange for me to wake up mid-dream this morning and to recall every detail of my dream last night. I had just finished a choir concert and was with Raimo heading home (on foot). It seemed totally real in my dream--the fact that I had just sung in a concert even though I am now graduated. We ran into Uncle Alan and Grandpa Eldridge, both wearing long wool pea coats. It seemed totally natural. Uncle Alan said, "Oh, I forgot you were singing up there tonight too," which meant they had gone to hear Berit sing. Grandpa Eldridge said nothing, but he smiled at me, and I felt reassured that he had been watching me. Then we were at my apartment, which looked nothing like our actual apartment. I offered Grandpa some grape juice, and he went to the cupboard and pulled out a container of fig newtons, which he opened and began to eat. He walked into the kitchen toward the sink as I tasted one of the fig newtons, which to my horror had an unusually hot and spicy filling. Grandpa discreetly threw his in the trash and took a sip of grape juice as I spit out my own nasty cookie. Shortly after, I turned around and Grandpa was walking out the door into the cold night. He didn't say goodbye, and I couldn't catch up with him. And he never said a word throughout the whole dream. When I woke up, it took a moment to realize he is not actually alive anymore. So, dream interpreters, what is the meaning of this?

Birthdays are fun

I had a great day yesterday. The nicest thing about birthdays is you get to choose everything and do whatever you want since it is your day. Or maybe my husband is just really nice to me:) Yesterday I wanted to use a Bath and Body gift card I got for Christmas. I got body wash, which I always run out of quickly, and hand soap because we haven't had any in a loong time. It's exciting to have awesome hand soap that smells like apple and foams up for you. Then my baby was feeling like a snack so I said I wanted a parmesan pretzel, so we got pretzels. Meanwhile, I was getting lots of phone calls from friends and family throughout the day, which is fun, especially when they sing to you over the phone. Then we went to see The Tourist at the movies. It was a fun movie and the scenery and costumes were so beautiful! Then I wanted to go to Olive Garden. So we did. And had their awesome salad and my favorite meal there: Seafood Alfredo. And I ate half of it so I could get my favorite dessert that I first tried in Italy and loved: tiramisu. I rarely get to eat it, so I savored every creamy bite. It was a very Italian day with that movie and food. Awesome. Then we rented Knight and Day, which made us laugh a lot. I thought it was great. During that, Parker, who I haven't seen in months, stopped by and gave me some pink birthday flowers, which is my favorite color. He is so excited for us about the baby. We visited for a while, watched the end of the movie, then he took off and we went to bed. And... I got the best night's sleep. Lately I have been waking up a lot during the night, but today I was able to sleep in and it felt awesome. It was unusual that BYU didn't start school yesterday. Very often my birthday falls on the first day of school-ew- but he didn't start till today. So yay--I had a fun day. I got some great gifts from my grandma and Raimo's family, and my parents' gift is on hold till I think of something I want because I can never think of anything I want so soon after Christmas. And the best thing is, Raimo and I celebrate birthday month. So pretty much it is my month and there is plenty of time to do fun things all month. Today I am getting my hair highlighted and cut. I haven't had it done since August!!! My hair is reaalllly long and really grown out on top. I love getting my hair done! Well, my baby is hungry again so I am going to eat that second half of pasta. Yay!

Oh, and this is the picture Raimo took of me when I found out I really was pregnant. It is not that great of a picture, but he pretty much captured it.

Keeping Christmas

Romans 14:6: He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord.

It is a good thing to observe Christmas day. The mere marking of times and seasons, when men agree to stop work and make merry together, is a wise and wholesome custom. It helps one to feel the supremacy of the common life over the individual life. It reminds a man to set his own little watch, now and then, by the great clock of humanity which runs on sun time.

But there is a better thing than the observance of Christmas day, and that is, keeping Christmas.

Are you willing to forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you; to ignore what the world owes you, and to think what you owe the world; to put your rights in the background, and your duties in the middle distance, and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground; to see that your fellow-men are just as real as you are, and try to look beyond their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy; to own that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life; to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe, and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness-- are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.

Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and the desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you, and ask yourself whether you love them enough; to bear in mind the things other people have to bear on their hearts; to try to understand what those who live in the same house with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; to trip your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts, and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open-- are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.

Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world-- stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death-- and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas.

And if you keep it for a day, why not always?

But you can never keep it alone.

--Henry Van Dyke

Grandpa Green

My Grandpa has been gone for quite a few years now. I remember the last time I saw him--Grandma and Grandpa were leaving our house and we were outside saying goodbye, and for some reason I had the thought that it might be the last time I would see them. I brushed that thought aside, though I cried a little when they drove away, and shortly after I headed back up to school. I was on campus when I got a call from my mom saying that Grandpa had been very sick and was probably not going to make it. I sat down on a bench and cried--some kind student asked me if I needed some help, but I said no. It was very sad for our family to lose him--he was a wonderful grandpa and leader of my mom's family. And since we always lived close to my grandparents (I even lived with them for the first three years of my life), he was such a big part of my life growing up.

Often I remember something about him or I hear something that reminds me of him. He had his own dialect, unique probably to Idahoans and Utahns of his era, and sometimes I hear older people who talk like him. "Sundee, Mondee,Tuesdee, etc." He also had a slew of expressions that our family remember and use from time to time like, "Well for heaven's sake". He had so many unique ones too that I can't think of. He had nicknames for the kids like McGilicudy and Button and Peanut.

Speaking of which, Grandpa was very fond of nuts and always had a stash by his chair: peanuts, pistachios, walnuts, pecans, macadamia. I would sneak them--I love nuts too. He was also very fond of fishin and would tell stories about his fishin trips and camping trips. When I was little, I really liked rocks and started a rock collection. Grandpa gave me some of his--he knew a lot about them and had the tools to cut and polish them. He was known by many as a great jeweler, and I lucked out and got some jewelry from him over the years. On my 12th birthday we happened to go to my Grandparents house, and he went into his office and came out with my first string of pearls! I felt so lucky! Eleven years later I wore them on my wedding day.

I remember Grandpa would squeeze some orange juice in the mornings. I have this image of him in the kitchen in some plaid pajamas juicing a few large oranges from his tree outside. I have no idea if this is just my memory of one day, or if it happened often, but he just made enough to fill a glass. Grandpa was always making things in his shop. He made me my first little dollhouse. It was so cute! Once I was assigned to make a pioneer wagon for school, so he and I made one out of wood. I have no idea how I did that ;) Another thing about Grandpa is he was always handing everybody money. That was so cool. And at Christmas he would type up his testimony and give everyone a copy. I have a stack of those letters in one of my boxes at home that I am excited to read again. He was at all my big events growing up, he blessed me when I was a baby, he confirmed me when I was baptized. I think of him whenever I sing How Great Thou Art because he loved that song. He is a great example to me, and I'm grateful to be his granddaughter.


http://lumangreen.com

So Blessed

The last few weeks, though at some points exhausting, have been very happy ones. I have been feeling very blessed and feeling Heavenly Father guiding my life. I feel lucky and also a little bit guilty because I have not been incorporating Him into my thoughts and life as often as I should. I need to be more diligent in my prayer and scripture reading. Why are those simple things so hard for me to do sometimes? However, despite my slacking in some areas, I am still feeling close to Him. Sunday was a really great day for me--our Relief Society lesson about the Savior's life was so powerful and I felt it added to my testimony. I have just felt more joyful and more grateful lately and I am so thankful for my blessings. Sure, we have lots of worries and stress with our busy lives, and it seems like no matter what we do we are scraping for money. But we are also greatly blessed, and I feel like Heavenly Father is reminding me of that.